Rural Masterminds - Bush Inspiration
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The Rash, the Lazy, Lover, nones so wild,
But may be tame, and may be wisely mild,
If they consult true Vertues Rules with care,
And lend to good advice a patient ear.
Invidus, iracundus, iners, vinosus, amator,
nemo adeo ferus est, ut non mitescere possit,
si modo culturae patientem commodet aurem.
Horace (65-8 BC) Roman poet, satirist, soldier, politician Quintus Horatius Flaccus
Epistles Epistularum, Letters, Book 1, ep. 1, l. 38ff (1.1.38-40) (20 BC) tr. Creech (1684)
Sourcing, notes, other translations:
This is what I would like to ask of us: what would it take to build a community where this was not mundane I want to encourage my readers to have conversations in your own communities, whether on person or online, where we name these things that have happened to us and others, identify how our communities played a part in them, and what we can do differently. Let me be clear, the goal is not to go monster-hunting for the perpetrators, because this isnt an individual "bad apple" problem as much as we may want it to be. The goal is to think in terms of our actual lived communities and social spaces, and how to make a world where this is no longer just another thing that happens amidst our lives.
If you feel like sharing with me or other readers about your own experiences and conversations around this, please feel free to email me at forbiddenqueeriesgmail.com. In the near future, Ill collect these and bring them into conversation together in an extra post to help further this conversation.
And if you want to read the follow-up to this conversation, consider subscribing to the newsletter here so you can know when it is released:
AdviceWhile chewing on this, I found myself wanting to revisit Kai Cheng Thoms piece Chronicle of a Rape Foretold (2019). Thom describes how so many of us thirst for a Queerlandia, a place that is safe for our bodies, safe for our souls, safe for an infinite rainbow of diverse gender and sexual expression, and free from the violence that characterizes so much else in our world. And yet, ...I have wondered for a long time now why my own experiences of living through violence within queer community went unnoticed for so long unnoticed by community and disregarded by myself. Thats when she names it and lays out how sexual violence, even in our communities, becomes so mundane:
We live in a rape culture, as feminists like to say, queer community included. What this means, at least for trans women of colour like me targets of violence who are among the least likely to be supported as survivors is that our perpetrators are not limited to one bad person, or two. My intimate life both sexual and non-sexual has in large part existed on a spectrum of violence that encompasses the majority of my sexual partners and many of my friends.
The problem of intimate and sexual violence is not individual it is cultural.
We live our lives in a soup of violence. While particular experiences bubble up out of this soup, they are an extension of our world and our community, not separate from it. What you and so many others have experienced is something all of us that make up your community bear responsibility for letting it become a part and parcel of our mundane. But because we bear responsibility, we also have the power to change it.
Thom asks us a question, What would it take to build a community where we were really safe Not perfectly, rigidly safe in the sense of totally free from riskbut safe enough to pursue intimacy and adventure with the knowledge there really was a community that had our backs A world where rape and traumatization...was not a foregone conclusion
3/4
A lot us carry an image of SA in our heads as something dramatic and intense. In movies and shows, its often shown as an act of visible force, the lighting brings the scene into stark relief, and the soundtrack plays music that makes it clear something terrible is happening. And it is almost always shown as a distinct scene separate from other scenes, and serves as an event that is important to the overall plot of the story.
Things like this often dont work like that in real life. Trauma and violence can take place right in the middle of the rest of our lives, and the story probably wont stop to take notice. It can even be ambiguous, and the meaning of the moment might not become clear to us until later.
One of my own experiences of sexual assault happened in the middle of a classroom in front of other students and teachers, and was laughed off as a joke. I didnt recognize it as SA at the time. I went on with the rest of my day, with that just being labeled in the moment as an unpleasant but unimportant thing among all the homework and quizzes and extracurriculars I had on my mind. And yet, decades later, the mark that act left on me is still there and shows up in occasional PTSD nightmares.
(2/4)
August 22, 2025
"The Banality of Violence"
For our very first official Forbidden Queeries piece, I had imagined I might respond to a handful of questions about a range of topics like one would often see in a typical advice column. But, in a fitting turn of events, the first question I had submitted to me was one that seems incredibly important to bring to us all to discuss. So Im dedicating this entire piece to discussing this question and present an ask at the end for all my readers, so I hope you will stick with me to the end.
***CONTENT WARNING: this piece will be discussing sexual assault in general terms, but not specifics of any particular event.***
---
Q: "Why does getting sexually assaulted feel so mundane Like, it sucked and Im processing it and uuuuuuugh. But on some level, why am I not MORE bothered
I mean, Ive spent a LOT of time working through it since Friday, so maybe the answer is my brain is trying to tell me its mundane while we work on it
I dont know, maybe this is a terrible question.
Maybe the fact that Im asking it anyway is a message from my subconscious to me.
Surviving the Mundane"
First and foremost, this is not a terrible question and I want to encourage you to give yourself some grace and time. It may take time for those feelings to fully come to the front, or it may be that you will find you were able to process the event in a way that leaves less of a wound than you might have expected. This may even change day to day. There is no one right way to react or process it, and it can come in phases as you move forward from the event.
Second, Im going to repeat something you likely already know, but it is important to just put it into words and hear others affirm: You did not deserve what happened to you and you are not to blame. No matter what you did, what you wore, or where you were, it is not your fault.
Finally, the core question: why does surviving sexual assault feel so mundane
(1/3)
Considering using as a community for a podcast fan site I'm working on. Any on what I ought to be aware of, in terms of the human part of the equation
I'm used to the technical stuff, but building and operating a social platform (even a small one) is very far removed from my wheelhouse.
How do you establish the right set of behavioural expectations How much effort should I expect to invest regularly into the user-created problems that will pop up
Its just a bad day, not a bad life Sending you a little encouragement to brighten your day. Love, Tod
Clueless With Oga And Big Paully
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Dear Artists, Musicians, and Entertainers:
You're not "competing" with each other, but you *are* competing for the same finite resource: people's time and attention.
Good luck!
Sincerely,
Me
I want something to read that is not brain rot, dry news articles or papers.
Can anyone recommend me something Does anyone read the new yorker outside the US Is the subscription worth it I could try it for a year - it's only like fifty bucks - but then gets quite expensive, even in digital only.
Padres Manny Machado thanks unlikely player for hitting advice
Here are three simple and common ways to find inspiration for anyone who's been struggling with it lately:
5:1:2 YOUR CONFIDENCE IS SO MAGNETIC YOURE STEPPING INTO ABUNDANCE
Germany's federal government has recently addressed consumer rights concerning package holidays, particularly in light of increasingly apparent climate change i...
Warnes Way Podcast
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The German Federal Government has addressed consumer rights concerning package holidays in light of the escalating consequences of climate change in the Mediter...
Random advice: If the cilantro in your garden is bolting, harvest some of the seeds while they're still green. They're juicy, delicious, and pop in your mouth.
They're also something that (AFAIK) you can't buy in stores, so pat yourself on the back for being a gardener. Use them in salads, as a garnish, or however you want.
I know what it is like to have to break these spells and unravel these knots. I am a kinky, polyamorous, non-binary trans woman and bi lesbian that grew up in a white trash community, but was lucky enough to find opportunities where others would pay me to live, work, and study all over the world. I dream in multiple languages and live with multiple mental illnesses. I have been with hundreds of people on the worst days of their lives, supporting them in finding their way forward while I worked as a crisis counselor. And I am told I sometimes have a way with words that folks find helpful.
What you will find here is a question and response blog. I don't claim to have answers, but I will offer my own questions, thoughts, and experiences in case they might be helpful. My responses may be a bit...queer...often being at odds with what is normal and normative for most people. But I'm not people, I'm the mad woman in the woods, and you didn't come here to hear what people think.
You can submit questions and queries on my site (), email me at forbiddenqueeriesgmail.com, or in a private mention on mastodon right here
NOTE: My responses in this blog are my personal opinions and perspectives, and are NOT offered as counseling or therapy. Please reach out to a counselor or therapist is you're in need of that support!
2/2
Title:
"A place to ask questions when your bones start to murmur..."
When it feels unsafe to talk, where can you talk about what is going on When others don't understand, how can you begin to understand what you are going through When you are afraid to say a question out loud, who can you consult
Forbidden Queeries is a new question and response blog for those thoughts, feelings, and questions that you don't know where else to go with. Or just anything else you might want perspective or thoughts on from a person like me.
You can call me Mallie Sinn (she/they). A person dear to me once told me that in a different world, I would be that mad woman in the forest who people bring gifts to in order to ask for wisdom about their problems. I don't know if what I have to offer is wisdom, but I am one of those folks that people seem to unpack their darkest secrets or untold traumas to on a regular basis - and people tell me they appreciate the perspectives I offer in return for such trust.
Since then, I haven't been able to stop thinking about a poem by Kai Cheng Thom from "I Hope We Choose Love" (2019):
"if your bones should start to murmur and hiss
in a language that is not safe to know, then leave
...
break the spells they said meant safety, but did not
unravel the knots they said meant love, but did not
and run to the woods where the path is winding
run to the place where the ravenous hide
...
if you should start to think forbidden thoughts
then come for me"
-Kai Cheng Thom, I Hope We Choose Love (2019)
1/2
I've noticed I'm recommending more and more often.
Each time, it feels right to give some first steps advice.
So here are a few:
1. Go into settings and set everything up to your liking.
Yes, your search engine can be customized for YOU.
2. Check out "Lenses".
They can be extremely handy: for instance, I use one to query a handful of 3D printing model catalogues at once.
3. Pay attention to the icons in the search results.
Many are buttons you can click to promote great sources or demote bad ones.
For example, I de-rank a bunch of media outlets that provide misinformation and prioritize or even "pin" resources like Wikipedia, GitHub, etc.
4. Try Kagi Assistant.
If you have a paid OpenAI or Anthropic subscription, it won't surprise you. But if you're still not using LLM's in your daily life, it could be a good place to try them.
Just remember that by default your chats are removed the next day, so if you want to keep them, you need to either mark them for saving or disable chat deletion in the settings. And yes, Assistant has settings too and you can even create personalized assistants there.
5. Look at Kagi Translate.
It offers nuanced translations with helpful context and examples. Though slightly slower than Google Translate, the added depth is worth it.
After a week of using the above, you probably wont return to Google.
A bit of an annoying morning.
make it next to impossible to of
**I do know how to remove them**
BUT
Analytics cookies opt-out requires an
or
Mouseflow link doesn't work
The service to help you understand shouldn't be making it tricky to opt out.
If there isn't a single click opt-out I have less trust for the site.
Relentless Momentum
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Maximizing Muscle Growth with Dumbbell Goblet Squats
Performing the Workout
Initiate the squat by pushing your hips back and bending your knees simultaneously.
Keep the dumbbell close to your chest to maintain an upright torso (prevents leaning forward).
Lower down until your thighs are at least parallel to the floor (deeper if mobility allows).
Ways to Support a Grieving Family (Besides Flowers)
When someone you care about is going through a heartbreaking loss, its natural to want to do something that shows love and comfort. Flowers are beautiful, yes but they fade quickly, and grief lingers far longer. If youre searching for ways to help that last beyond a bouquet, here are some gentle, meaningful ways to truly be there for a grieving family.
Offer Help Thats Clear and Simple
When grief is fresh, even small decisions feel impossible. Thats why the classic Let me
Welcome to Self With Dr Hayley D Quinn
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If you're a tourist looking for Germany in India (for food, customs, etc.), really the best place to find Germany is Germany.
aka "Stop looking for your country in another."
PS: applies to any pair of countries two countries named only for ease of writing.
I am eating (yogurt covered pretzels) and watching:
Giving Unhinged
Lucky Last: Empowering Dreams, One Story At A Time.
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Why'd You Think You Could Do That
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On Putins advice, Trump launches assault on mail-in ballots and voting machines
President Trump said Monday he would renew his assault on mail-in voting after Russias autocratic leader, Vladimir Putin,
-inballot -invoting
Grow And Evolve With Krystal
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Life pro-tip: make good choices.
*Bonus* tip: don't make bad choices.
:boostrequest:
All advice is prophecy.
Follow it & you'll never know what fate you dodged.
Ignore it & you'll find out.
Sound .
Hey There Thrivival
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By popular request, it's here!
FORBIDDEN QUEERIES, my new Question & Response blog is live!
I'll be publishing it under my pseudonym, Mallie Sinn, to keep it separate from my career and make it clear what I offer there is personal opinion and not therapy or counseling. You can read it by following or on the blog site itself:
I am currently taking open questions from everyone at forbiddenqueeriesgmail.com or in private mentions to
If you want to support this effort or get top priority for your own question, please subscribe on the blog itself at or on my patreon for projects under my pseudonym
