What's Fear Got To Do With It
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Of interest for some.
> If you want more peace and less regret as you age, say goodbye to these 7 habits
Taking a break is important for artists to do in order to avoid burnout. Here are three things you can doinstead of art in order to take a rest so those creative juices can flow stronger:
It feels unfair if you always invite friends to your home and others don't reciprocate.
Posted into The Friendship Doctor
Next time someone complains about you, give them a long stare, then solemnly say, "You just wish you were me."
You shouldn't salt a leech that's sucking your blood
How do I explain to my parents that they should stop asking me for advice on "it problems" when they quite literally NEVER follow my advice or even care about my opinion. Then just do whatever and want me to fix all of the wird quirks caused by that decision.
I feel like they're exactly the kind of people that would rather buy 20x boots for 20$ instead of spending 100$ once. However only when it comes to IT. They understand it for actual boots...
Chris Boden on BEING WEIRD and BEING YOURSELF, and how going to prison changed his attitude.
You cannot keep everyone else warm by setting yourself on fire.
Chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and get on with your day.
Wise words!
reports that ChatGPT served as "suicide coach" to a 16-year-old The family of teenager who died by suicide alleges OpenAI's ChatGPT is to blame
Brains Of Mastodon, I need more help. Things are going great with my church's LGBTQ+ support and fellowship group. WE DOIN IT
We're now trying to think of how to foster secure and private group communication among our group. I don't think I have it in me to set up a Listserv, if that's even "private". I thought of like a Signal group chat, but I don't know if that can be easily managed.
What are people doing for stuff like this Thanks in advance.
How to harness your emotions to fuel creativity - Fast Company
Creativity is full of emotionsthe reputational risk of not knowing how an idea will be received by stakeholders, the frustration of dealing with constraints and obstacles, conflict about directions to take, and elation when you finally develop a product. Successful creativity does not depend on the kinds of emotions experienced. Rather, it depends on your ability to harness the power of emotions and manage them when they get in the way of progress. In my book, The Creativity Choice: The Science of Making Decisions To Turn Ideas Into Action, I write about how to use emotional intelligence to manage the creative process, regardless of industry or job role.
#work
Best I gave to myself when I was young:
Keep stuff. Love letters, postcards, tickets, boarding passes, wristbands. Books.
It's Monday! And You know what that means! I gotta push the releases one more time!
So, here is the blog post:
It's about finding inspiration!
Beyond The Noise
Great Australian Pods Podcast Directory:
on preserving compatibility, on using idempotency-keys, and on applying back-pressure:
Everything I Know About Good API Design, Sean Goedecke ().
Via HN:
On Lobsters:
on design-simplicity & stateless services:
Everything I Know About Good System Design, Sean Goedecke ().
Via HN:
On Lobsters:
Developing software for a specific date brings its own set of unique challenges. I recently did this (again) with a great team and here are the lessons I learned:
Rephrase/repeat (sorry).
How do you get the most out of a superstrat, if you're used to low-output single coil guitars
(I'm considering selling a Korean-made Mockingbird with a Floyd, and I want to try to truly appreciate it first.)
All the videos I find seem to be about how to buy one, but not how you wield it.
Smart Snacks for Beginners
Snacks can be a healthy addition to your already existing diet and nutrition to get you closer to your nutrition and macro goals!
Protein First
Pair Carbs + Protein
Portion Control Matters
Convenience Counts
Hydrate With It
. See for official warnings from the QFD. DO NOT RELY ON THIS SERVICE FOR TIMELY EMERGENCY WARNINGS.
STAY INFORMED - Cooktown - fire as at 8:20pm Sunday, 24 August 2025 (IF39-4731521)
Location: Cooktown
Map:
Incident Type: FIRE VEGETATION
Alert Level: Advice
Severity: Moderate
Action: Monitor
Expires: 2025-08-25T20:15:00+10:00
A fire is burning near Oaky Creek Road. It is moving towards Solander Road, Poison Creek Road and Lee Road.
Major roads or highways may be impacted, including Oaky Creek Road, Solander Road and Lee Road .
- Stay informed because conditions could change:
- Check the QFD Current Bushfires and Warnings website regularly.
- Follow QFD on Facebook and X.com.
- Listen to your local radio station.
- Tell friends, family and neighbours in the area.
- Decide what you will do if the bushfire gets closer:
- Follow your bushfire survival plan now. If you do not have a bushfire survival plan, make one on the QFD website.
- Decide where you and the people you live with will go. This could be with family or a friend away from the fire.
- Keep medications close by.
- Avoid smoke - stay indoors, close windows and doors, and avoid driving through smoke.
- Watch out for firefighters working in the area.
- Do not fly drones around the fire. Drones affect air operations.
- If your life is in danger, call Triple Zero (000) immediately.
- Click here for current QFD incidents and warnings
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Self Help(ed)
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Noticed someone we know is remodeling/repainting their house, and left these gaping openings at their future light hookups. Some advice from a beekeeper: don't do this! It's a perfect entry for a bee swarm to your wall cavity. (Also true for termites and mice).
: how best to appreciate hot pickups
I have a couple Fenders and a Mockingbird ST that I'm trying to connect with. I grew up playing a Jag.
Everything is different with loud pickups that sound like mud when I try to play edge of breakup.
How do you approach a guitar that's made to shred
What seems to work best is a drive pedal into a distortion pedal.
but I don't know what to do with my hands.
It's like aGTO Vs an MG. You don't drive the same way.
Dumbbell Reverse Flys
Most people overtrain their front and side delts (presses, raises, push movements) while neglecting the rear delts.
Reverse flys directly target the posterior deltoids, helping create balanced, rounded shoulders.
Troy Deeney Urges Isak to Disrupt Newcastle Training Amidst Transfer Standoff
Empowering From Within, With Phoebe Stuart
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Rural Masterminds - Bush Inspiration
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The Rash, the Lazy, Lover, nones so wild,
But may be tame, and may be wisely mild,
If they consult true Vertues Rules with care,
And lend to good advice a patient ear.
Invidus, iracundus, iners, vinosus, amator,
nemo adeo ferus est, ut non mitescere possit,
si modo culturae patientem commodet aurem.
Horace (65-8 BC) Roman poet, satirist, soldier, politician Quintus Horatius Flaccus
Epistles Epistularum, Letters, Book 1, ep. 1, l. 38ff (1.1.38-40) (20 BC) tr. Creech (1684)
Sourcing, notes, other translations:
This is what I would like to ask of us: what would it take to build a community where this was not mundane I want to encourage my readers to have conversations in your own communities, whether on person or online, where we name these things that have happened to us and others, identify how our communities played a part in them, and what we can do differently. Let me be clear, the goal is not to go monster-hunting for the perpetrators, because this isnt an individual "bad apple" problem as much as we may want it to be. The goal is to think in terms of our actual lived communities and social spaces, and how to make a world where this is no longer just another thing that happens amidst our lives.
If you feel like sharing with me or other readers about your own experiences and conversations around this, please feel free to email me at forbiddenqueeriesgmail.com. In the near future, Ill collect these and bring them into conversation together in an extra post to help further this conversation.
And if you want to read the follow-up to this conversation, consider subscribing to the newsletter here so you can know when it is released:
While chewing on this, I found myself wanting to revisit Kai Cheng Thoms piece Chronicle of a Rape Foretold (2019). Thom describes how so many of us thirst for a Queerlandia, a place that is safe for our bodies, safe for our souls, safe for an infinite rainbow of diverse gender and sexual expression, and free from the violence that characterizes so much else in our world. And yet, ...I have wondered for a long time now why my own experiences of living through violence within queer community went unnoticed for so long unnoticed by community and disregarded by myself. Thats when she names it and lays out how sexual violence, even in our communities, becomes so mundane:
We live in a rape culture, as feminists like to say, queer community included. What this means, at least for trans women of colour like me targets of violence who are among the least likely to be supported as survivors is that our perpetrators are not limited to one bad person, or two. My intimate life both sexual and non-sexual has in large part existed on a spectrum of violence that encompasses the majority of my sexual partners and many of my friends.
The problem of intimate and sexual violence is not individual it is cultural.
We live our lives in a soup of violence. While particular experiences bubble up out of this soup, they are an extension of our world and our community, not separate from it. What you and so many others have experienced is something all of us that make up your community bear responsibility for letting it become a part and parcel of our mundane. But because we bear responsibility, we also have the power to change it.
Thom asks us a question, What would it take to build a community where we were really safe Not perfectly, rigidly safe in the sense of totally free from riskbut safe enough to pursue intimacy and adventure with the knowledge there really was a community that had our backs A world where rape and traumatization...was not a foregone conclusion
3/4
A lot us carry an image of SA in our heads as something dramatic and intense. In movies and shows, its often shown as an act of visible force, the lighting brings the scene into stark relief, and the soundtrack plays music that makes it clear something terrible is happening. And it is almost always shown as a distinct scene separate from other scenes, and serves as an event that is important to the overall plot of the story.
Things like this often dont work like that in real life. Trauma and violence can take place right in the middle of the rest of our lives, and the story probably wont stop to take notice. It can even be ambiguous, and the meaning of the moment might not become clear to us until later.
One of my own experiences of sexual assault happened in the middle of a classroom in front of other students and teachers, and was laughed off as a joke. I didnt recognize it as SA at the time. I went on with the rest of my day, with that just being labeled in the moment as an unpleasant but unimportant thing among all the homework and quizzes and extracurriculars I had on my mind. And yet, decades later, the mark that act left on me is still there and shows up in occasional PTSD nightmares.
(2/4)
August 22, 2025
"The Banality of Violence"
For our very first official Forbidden Queeries piece, I had imagined I might respond to a handful of questions about a range of topics like one would often see in a typical advice column. But, in a fitting turn of events, the first question I had submitted to me was one that seems incredibly important to bring to us all to discuss. So Im dedicating this entire piece to discussing this question and present an ask at the end for all my readers, so I hope you will stick with me to the end.
***CONTENT WARNING: this piece will be discussing sexual assault in general terms, but not specifics of any particular event.***
---
Q: "Why does getting sexually assaulted feel so mundane Like, it sucked and Im processing it and uuuuuuugh. But on some level, why am I not MORE bothered
I mean, Ive spent a LOT of time working through it since Friday, so maybe the answer is my brain is trying to tell me its mundane while we work on it
I dont know, maybe this is a terrible question.
Maybe the fact that Im asking it anyway is a message from my subconscious to me.
Surviving the Mundane"
First and foremost, this is not a terrible question and I want to encourage you to give yourself some grace and time. It may take time for those feelings to fully come to the front, or it may be that you will find you were able to process the event in a way that leaves less of a wound than you might have expected. This may even change day to day. There is no one right way to react or process it, and it can come in phases as you move forward from the event.
Second, Im going to repeat something you likely already know, but it is important to just put it into words and hear others affirm: You did not deserve what happened to you and you are not to blame. No matter what you did, what you wore, or where you were, it is not your fault.
Finally, the core question: why does surviving sexual assault feel so mundane
(1/3)
Considering using as a community for a podcast fan site I'm working on. Any on what I ought to be aware of, in terms of the human part of the equation
I'm used to the technical stuff, but building and operating a social platform (even a small one) is very far removed from my wheelhouse.
How do you establish the right set of behavioural expectations How much effort should I expect to invest regularly into the user-created problems that will pop up
Its just a bad day, not a bad life Sending you a little encouragement to brighten your day. Love, Tod
Clueless With Oga And Big Paully
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Dear Artists, Musicians, and Entertainers:
You're not "competing" with each other, but you *are* competing for the same finite resource: people's time and attention.
Good luck!
Sincerely,
Me
I want something to read that is not brain rot, dry news articles or papers.
Can anyone recommend me something Does anyone read the new yorker outside the US Is the subscription worth it I could try it for a year - it's only like fifty bucks - but then gets quite expensive, even in digital only.
Padres Manny Machado thanks unlikely player for hitting advice
Here are three simple and common ways to find inspiration for anyone who's been struggling with it lately:
5:1:2 YOUR CONFIDENCE IS SO MAGNETIC YOURE STEPPING INTO ABUNDANCE
